The myth about doing it all

“Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit” 
E.E. Cummings

I have been involved in several conversations recently where someone (generally a female and often a mother) has put themselves down for not being able to do it all. Or have compared themselves negatively to someone else and scratched their head wondering how on earth 'she does it all?'. 

I know most of us have felt like this at times. Like everyone has it together except us. And I hear and read things that I know perpetuate these untruths. I adore reading interviews of inspiring people, especially dialogues done well, where people are asked challenging questions and they answer with courage and vulnerability. But it drives me a little crazy when people are described as superhuman, or they are questioned about how they do it all and they give any answer other than 'I don't..'

Now please understand that I am a bit of a time management nerd, I love productivity and hacks for working smarter. I want to live a life of purpose and am always keen to learn how to do life well (especially when managing a small circus of little people). But the truth is that whilst we can always be looking to improve, no one is actually doing it all. We can do absolutely anything, but we can not do everything. At least not well. Eventually something has to give.

The art of it all (in my humble little opinion) is being aware of the season you are currently in and assessing the following things:

What has to stay in the juggle out of pure necessity (if only there was a dishwashing fairy)

What you are valuing and prioritising at this season of life (hello my love, my family, my faith, community, my business and cups of tea in bed)

What you try and fit in when you can but accept may not always happen (such as my vegetable garden, the pile of books next to my bed, coffee dates, writing, doing my hair, thorough house cleaning..)

What has to be sacrificed temporarily but not necessarily forever (my sewing machine hasn't come down from it's shelf since my third daughter was born, my much-anticipated plans to do my Masters are still on the back burner)

What we are ok with sacrificing indefinitely (I have never found the time to watch the Bachelor and I am really ok with that).

This is not a very typical Nourish and Nest post, but part of our philosophy is to love extravagantly (including yourself) and to stay true to your path, so I believe it fits. I am also humbled that people really do come to this space and read what is (sporadically at times) shared and so if I can use this space to encourage one person today, it is a good day.

You are doing great. No one is doing it all. Everyone is fighting a battle of some kind. Love extravagantly, others and yourself. Let go of the unhealthy comparisons and stay true to your own path. 

With love xx

1 comment

  • Carolyn

    Very well said! What we all need to hear on a regular basis, me especially as I look at the weeds in my garden and the beetroot I haven’t got round to harvesting and relishing yet…and the finger marks all over my windows…sigh. There are things that can wait.

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